He is such a slut. More and more my type.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
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i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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