Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
