If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
