Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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