...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
