he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
