I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
