Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
