When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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