i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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