do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
This is my gift to your gina
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
