youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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