my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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