my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
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can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
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I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!