I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day