Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
