question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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