just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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