I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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