if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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