I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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