I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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