I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
