big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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