I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
