walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
