Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize