oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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