So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
