After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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