She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
people are starting to question the shark bite story
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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