Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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