Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize