I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
