So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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