my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
