I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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