i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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