I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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