We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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