When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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