it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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