And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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