mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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