Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
