Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
