Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
