I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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