I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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