Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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