it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
