Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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