I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I've blown a few things in my day
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
