how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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