There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
