i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
