Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
