You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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