My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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