Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
