Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
