i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
two words...techno handjob
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
