I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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